Personal Challenges And Thoughts

Facebook Post Friday, September 25, 2009 at 2:17am

So here is some of what I've been dealing with personally :
Discernment can be hard in the midst of activity and stress! I was interested in presenting an idea a few weeks ago, watching excitement grow, watching it morph into two other ideas instead, watching one of those ideas of a nightly listening project develop and fade (partly due to my energy level), then grow, then fade, then grow... I tried to lay down the project, and it wouldn't die. Just when I told volunteers it would not happen, someone else told me they needed us, but then it didn't go anywhere because we could not get back in touch with the clinic who supposedly wanted us. When everything fits together easily I figure I'm headed in the right direction. When everything fails, I figure that's a message to re-examine my priorities and pay attention. When things go back and forth like this, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing! I am much more comfortable with clear directions!

There have been numerous alternative summits, educational events, and collaborative meetings between activists on many issues, economists, union leaders from several countries, scientists, and more. I missed many of the events this week since I was both working at my job and working on plans for other events this week. I did attend the final session of the People's Summit on Tuesday night. (If you Google "People's Summit" you'll find both the website listing speakers and several news stories about the panels.) I generally agreed with much of what the speakers said, but did not appreciate the tone. During questions, one audience member commented on the stereotypes and anger and asked how we could win over our opponents rather than demonize them, to truly build the peaceful world we are envisioning. Every one of the speakers said one of the following (paraphrased) : they do not have time to convince people, it is dangerous to take time for that, some people are so evil they can't be changed and are beyond redemption, and evil is evil! Adding to that was the day's update on events in Tegucugalpa, so I left in tears, feeling quite depressed. So much pain and violence in Honduras, and then we waste our privilege here with hatred against each other. This kind of division is not what I'm working for. To me, nonviolence includes rather than excludes people. The system we live in tries to divide us. We are giving in if we let that happen. I walked home thinking about stories of radical transformation I've heard from the African Great Lakes Region, from former combatants I met in Colombia, from Friends I met in El Salvador. I believe we should all be angry at the many deaths caused by our current economic system. We should all be angry at the life-and-death decisions made by a few for the entire world. However, to say that opponents themselves are evil rather than their actions, to say that anyone is impossible to change, and to say that people are not worth our time, is to say that someone is no longer human. I will not say that something is beyond God's ability, and I keep on seeing and hearing proof of God's ability to transform impossible situations and people who have committed truly evil acts. In our nonviolence workshops, we've been talking about the two parts of active nonviolence, resistance and constructive change. One involves saying "Stop!" while the other, taking most of our time and energy, involves reaching out to those we are resisting. Many people here are great at saying "Stop!" but don't seem to share my vision of building a community which includes the people I don't like. Where is the love in their vision?
Yesterday afternoon I listened to a couple of "People's Voices" panels. This panel was more what I needed to hear. Among several good speakers, Leo Gerard, president of the International Steel Workers Union, gave a more unifying speech. John Welch, a friend of mine and president of the Pittsburgh Interfaith Impact Network (among many other titles), gave a wonderfully challenging, faith-filled speech on the responsibility of each of us in the room. I've heard Leo Gerard speak before, but this time he filled me with hope. He was the first person I had heard from a podium this week who focussed on the evil of the system rather than stereotyping groups. He spoke of the "teabaggers" (who have been mentioned numerous times this week) as people who have a right to be angry, who have good reason to be scared, and who have simply been misdirected in the cause of their troubles. He spoke of China trying to capture the world market on new green technology sales by setting prices lower than production costs to undercut the U.S.A. market, and that our enemies are not the Chinese workers, but the global system we have set up which creates strategies harmful to workers on all sides. I kept hearing him talk about who is NOT the enemy, instead of who is, and the need to get beyond that to focus on changing the system in which we live. Yea!!

I have been saddened by divisions this week among the "peacemakers" of Pittsburgh. A couple of friends of mine have been hurt (emotionally). We have different attitudes about what is involved in working for justice, different definitions of nonviolence, and different goals in being involved in activities around the G20 summit. It is much easier to focus on a perceived enemy than it is to do the hard work of getting along with our friends. Some see the "us/them" division between protestors and police as unifying for the protestors. I see "us/them" scenarios making it much easier for more and more "us/them" divisions, so that it's easier to divide and conquer. No one ever said that working for justice would be easy! Why are we willing to do the very hard, exhausting work of planning a large march, but we are unwilling to the the very hard, exhausting, but exhilerating and rewarding and joyful work of strengthening alliances, figuring out common ground, and learning to work with people we don't always agree with?
Some organizers for the march tomorrow have a stated attitude of respect for differing methods. Rather than say that others are wrong for different approaches, they merely state that for this particular march, we have set expectations for behavior and other approaches are for other times. The specific nonviolent guidelines (written by a Pittsburgh Friend) have been posted online and are being distributed to the crowd. There are also stated principles about not speaking against various other groups of demonstrators. For me, I think there can be a balance between objecting to an action without objecting to a group, but the fact that they are trying to focus on the march rather than on who has done what so far, is one reason I feel I can be part of this march. My goal is not to argue about which justice issue is most important. My goal is not to demand that the police respect my right to march. My goal is not to blame someone for "giving in" to a police demand, nor to blame someone for standing up for the truth as they understand it. My personal goal is to offer my voice for the many in our world who are not being given a voice at the G20 summit.

The nonviolence training went well today. It was a very small group, but engaged, with lots of great experience and wisdom the participants brought into plans for Friday's march. (One participant is a young adult Friend from my own yearly meeting. It was nice to have a familiar face!) My planned co-facilitator needed to step back, and after initial panic (thank you Daniel and Celia for helping me think this through and convincing me that I could do this), I did find another co-facilitator. We did not take time to coordinate well, so I made some goofs, but I felt fairly calm and collected before, during, and after the training. (Having "calm yourself" as part of the training is a helpful reminder to me!)

I am planning to be a "peace guide" for the march. There will be three teams working in various parts of the march to keep us moving, watch for signs of possible trouble, and help de-escalate tension. Roles will vary depending on what section we're assigned to. I've been holding back on plans, but the media came to our peace guides meeting this evening, so it's now public who the team leaders of each section will be. A Pittsburgh Friend, Scilla, will coordinate the front team of peace guides, up front in the march, and has asked other Friends to be part of her team.

I have been feeling the results of all of the love coming my way from around the country and around the globe! Wow! In the past two days I have calmed down significantly, started taking better care of myself, taken more time for thinking and centering, listened more, found more that I respect and admire in some people with whom I've been very frustrated, and have found myself facing new challenges with a sense of God's presence in the midst. Do I still feel unprepared? You bet! I'll have people around me I trust, and more grounding than I've felt in a while to help me through whatever comes. If everyone else can be similarly transformed in two days, we'll have an absolutely amazing, earth-shaking march tomorrow! :)